Psycho Girlfriend

I came across this this fantastic piece of news the other day: Robotic ferret will detect hidden drugs and weapons

Big news, right? A ferret-robot combination seems unstoppable! Upon closer reading, however, it became apparent that these folks had no idea what a ferret looked like. Figuring that a fair amount was at stake, I prepared an informative infographic. Vanessa and Derek assisted with the explanatory letter to the “scientists” behind the project. Though we have yet to hear back, I like to imagine that they appreciated the clarification. Text and graphic below:

RE: Robotic ferret will detect hidden drugs and weapons

Dear Robotic Scientists,

We fear that perhaps your design team has missed the target with the cargo screening ferret prototype. We feel that calling your mechanism a “cargo screening ferret” is a misnomer intended to misdirect the public into believing that it is a cute, fuzzy crittertbot. It is, in fact, not a critter at all AND not even close to a ferret. Our resident ferret expert, D. Doublin, explained earlier, “a ferret is one long cylinder, not three chubby cylinders all strewn together.” The device is clearly of Tinkertoy descent. Please see infographic below for reference.

As staunch supporters of domesticated polecats, we are concerned that by giving your device the label of “ferret” your final project may result in dangerous, attempted cuddling accidents by illegal aliens hiding inside the storage units as well as lonely, old people out for a stroll.

We at RoboFerrets LLC would be happy to talk to you about a redesign, taking into account the clear-cut needs and strategic nature of the project.

Sincerely,
RoboFerrets LLC